So I wanted to write this over the last couple of days but I had two quite negative mornings that threw me out for the rest of the day. Due to that negativity I didn’t feel like I could give the justice needed for this post, but 00Steve and I made headway with stuff for Baby Buttons room and the hallway that the negativity dripped away which made me feel like I could write something about happiness.
I feel like I need to maybe get a wider perspective and stop having a pity party, from hearing from others going through something similar, so if you have ANY experience with any of these please get in touch and offer me some words of wisdom. Oh and if you’re healthy let me have some of your spoons!!
You may have seen posts all over social media about Time To Talk and how important it can be to talk to someone or listen to someone about problems. They say a problem shared is a problem halved or something to that effect. Well this is mine, it’s not written for sympathy or pity but I do need some support, whether you have been through this yourself or not, it is quite hard for me to write this out so I apologise if it isn’t superbly written (when are my posts ever that well written ha ha!) But here is what I struggle to talk about out loud.
So now is the time everyone is making New Years resolutions. I’m not writing any this year, nor am I ignoring them. But for me they are a way to try and make myself whole again by hoping to achieve goals. Read more
Does anyone else sometimes hate the Facebook “On This Day”? For me it should be a good thing because it shows how far I have come in my weight loss journey and loving my body. Don’t get me wrong I don’t need to lose any more weight I just need to tone up, huge difference. But when I look at them my stupid brain just thinks what did 00Steve see in me, was I really that fat and no one told me? Read more
Or for the purpose of this post phone phone propped up against my xbox one! I have mentioned a few times before I have never really liked what I saw when I looked in the mirror. Having eating disorders and mild body dysmorphic disorder to this day are a struggle to deal with but I still keep moving forward.
Today I had an appointment with General Surgery (General Surgery *salute* to all you HIMYM fans out there) I thought I would be seeing my surgeon but nope I saw the Stoma nurse which was fine because that’s who I wanted to see anyway! I needed some more barrier rings and my peristomal skin is quite sore again. *Naked Stoma* straight off the bat in the post!
I’ve been talking to someone via my Facebook page for the blog. I mentioned about doing a sort of positive thought board. So when they felt fed up they could look at it and see how far they have come. I do these quite frequently they vary between lists, pictures well anything visual! In a way my blog posts can be included too. Read more
Last night I really wanted to go to Pilates and tonight I wanted to go to Yoga. But my body isn’t playing fair at the moment. I’m so tired mentally and feel quite zapped emotionally. My stoma seems to have gone haywire, high frequency output and doesn’t like me drinking enough. Fatigue is honestly like having a full sized adult on my shoulders and no amount of early nights or lie ins make it better. Read more
So after years of having an awful relationship with food, I get very stroppy about not being able to eat what I want (most of the time swayed by TV! Damn my weak constitution) When my Ulcerative Colitis first started to flare up I was full swing with an eating disorder. Most people say oh that’s what triggered it. I still get immensely annoyed at this comment because it’s a genetic disease, I was destined to have the bloody thing. Read more