Last night I really wanted to go to Pilates and tonight I wanted to go to Yoga. But my body isn’t playing fair at the moment. I’m so tired mentally and feel quite zapped emotionally. My stoma seems to have gone haywire, high frequency output and doesn’t like me drinking enough. Fatigue is honestly like having a full sized adult on my shoulders and no amount of early nights or lie ins make it better.

One way I used to help lose weight/stop myself feeling fat was by drinking the correct amount of fluid a day and generally water. Now my stomach feels and looks permanently swollen. I obviously had that issue with being scared to drink and I’m worried I’m going to be scared to eat AND drink.

I’m worried about drinking the plain water because I know with the liquidy output I’m at risk of dehydration let alone by not drinking plenty. When I’m dehydrated fatigue gets worse. I’m worried about eating in case I put weight on and I have a hen do and wedding coming up that I feel incredibly self conscious for. Every girl that will be attending is all slim, pretty and will be in beautiful dresses.

I was hoping to start  gentle exercise routine starting with the pilates and yoga then moving onto C25K as I became quite an avid runner before the diagnosis of pouchitis. I figured that this would let my brain know it was okay to eat as I was being active.

00Steve said it was probably good I didn’t go to the gym whilst feeling so naff as we have our eldest nephew this weekend and have a hike planned. Which is fair since I love spending time with my nephew and don’t have him that often so I really want to make the most of it and not be riddled with fatigue.

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