Yep you read that title right; it isn’t just my mental health that is important. You may have read about me talking about self care but although we deserve to be important and have our needs met sometimes we over look those around us. More than likely unintentionally not realising some needs are more important than others with those closest to us.
So I deserve to be treat kindly, shown love and respect and supported through my journey to better mental health; but how can 00Steve do that if I’m ignoring his needs. We had an argument a few weeks ago where he said something along the lines of “It isn’t all about you, you know my anxiety gets bad when the house is a shit hole”. Now don’t quote me on that as I’m horrific at repeating what he says accurately but it is close enough.
I have been so wrapped up in trying to survive myself that I hadn’t been focusing on his needs too. Where I need physical and verbal attention to make me feel supported he doesn’t. He likes things to be tidy (in my mind like a show home) but he married an untidy person and I often feel his standards are too high. His family frequently mention what his flat was like and how immaculate it was – until I moved in of course! But there were no personal effects nothing that made it a home. I often joke about how he could tell if the remotes had been moved if they were a millimetre out of place!
We now have a home and other than the kids stuff I don’t think it’s messy well except for my stuff dumped in front of the wardrobe! Our house is still in the process of being decorated and when I say that 00Steve actually is knocking walls down and just rebuilding the damn house essentially, so we have lots of things that don’t quite have a home yet but will in time it is just a case of like many things finding the money to finish off rooms. 00Steve highly disagrees with my opinion of the house being tidy and it is generally what he thinks we argue about.
So his comment had been playing on my mind and I decided to make a more visible effort. On Instagram my friend posted a photo of toilet rolls that had like been folded neatly and “stamped” together to keep it from coming away. This was the start… Mainly I chose to do this because I hate how Ra-Ra in her efforts to prise open a new toilet roll sheet will waste more due to it ripping but with an added note it looks nice. So from there I found Mrs Hinch #hincharmy or just plain Sophie Hinchcliffe who has an Instagram account under mrshinchhome. She has swept the nation with her cleaning tips and fun personality; I recently read an article stating that she started cleaning to help with her anxiety and then she found it fun.
This week before work I cleaned the downstairs windows, mirrors, cleared out the junk downstairs, dusted, hoovered and cleaned my skirting boards. The look on his face when I told him as he picked the kids up from my work was priceless and I got a hug – normally it’s a peck on the cheek. I have spent a small fortune on things Mrs Hinch recommends that aren’t expensive but I bought a lot in one go to help kick-start keeping 00Steve’s anxiety down. Plus if it means we argue less then it’s a win win really.
So I have decided whilst Natalie over at The Spoonie Mummy is doing a happiness challenge I would do a cleaning/decluttering challenge so that keeping on top of things would mean I would find cleaning the house easier in the future. I found this minimalist challenge from He and She Eat Clean which sets out something simple you can do each day and I will be adding to my Instagram stories highlight as I do each one. Here is the challenge photo and if you click on the hyperlink above you will go directly to their post. They are obviously American so certain things won’t apply to me here in the UK eg the decorations being on there twice; so I will pick something around my house that needs sorting out.
What simple thing can you do for the person closest to you to enable them to support you better? Also on an end note can I just say I never thought I would write a post about cleaning that wasn’t ostomy related!