Social media can be a wonderful thing but it can also have quite a negative effect on ourselves when we see such orchestrated perfection from others, everyone knows or I hope they know you shouldn’t take social media on face value. Whilst I do try to be honest on my social media platforms there are times where I don’t want to share my ugly snotty crying face when anxiety hits or when I am low, nor do I always want to share a photo of my kids being pains in the arse which like all kids can be they frequently are – mainly for me the little oiks. My life isn’t all smiles and cute cuddles and from scratch home cooked meals but why don’t I post the “real life” shiz?
Firstly in school I was taught that it is a very British way of thinking/acting by not being honest when something is wrong because other people don’t want to be burdened with it. For instance how many of you see a friend in the doctors and they ask if you are okay and you reply “Yeah fine, thanks”, or something to that effect? Probably like 99% of you said yeah that’s me down to a tee. I mean it’s obvious that something is most likely wrong no matter how minor it is but we still say we are fine.
Also there is the very archaic stiff upper lip syndrome that we British also seem to have bred into us that so much so the last few years have seen it used in the keep calm and carry on memes. So for me I don’t see the point in posting the god awful photos that I capture when to begin with either my face looks acceptable (in the mirror clearly not the camera lens) or the kids are being cute; simply because let’s face it my Instagram and Facebook (personal account) are really for me anyway to look back at photos not for anyone else and I don’t want to be reminded of it.
Yet on those bad days where face resembles squeaky voice pizza delivery guy from The Simpson’s or the kids are pulling their own horrible crying faces from tantruming that owl can’t go to school with them or that Ra-Ra is still eating although Button has already scarfed down twice the amount she has, I should post. Maybe not all the time but to show my life isn’t picture perfect.
I don’t want people to think what they see on my social media is how my life actually is because I literally pick through 10 selfies or bribe my kids to be nice for one photo, or 00Steve pull a fake smile after his nice smile photo I am blurred in, the absolute bomb site that was once my kitchen when I cook. Let alone the fact I have very little patience especially with Ra-Ra as she has all of my irritating traits like talking back or being nonchalant then suddenly stroppy coupled 00Steve’s lack of interest and short attention span. I do have to focus on building her up because what we say to our kids does become a voice in their heads. One trick I find that helps and I use it for everyone is every time I have something negative to say I have to say 3 positive things about the person.
The only place I truly voice everything is Twitter and I guess that is because I have very little people in my day to day life on there, everything is fast paced and within a couple of minutes you would have to scroll down a mini landslide of other tweets to find mine again. That is where I talk about my feelings of unworthiness, my low self esteem or my bad days. I guess the fact that I can post a tweet and within a moment it is lost in a sea of other tweets helps whereas on Instagram I can look on my profile and be reminded of those thoughts and feelings regardless of how fleeting they may be. I feel like I can be honest without judgement because I’m not always low – I may always be tired (thanks chronic pain and fatigue) but I do have a lot of good days when I sit down and think about it.
I have a lot of friends who have removed themselves from social media because of how false it is and even though they know that it isn’t always a true representation of real life; it causes them stress and anxiety for numerous reasons. How do you feel when it comes to social media platforms and when people only post the flouncy flowery sides of life?