When those of us are diagnosed with having a personality disorder, we often feel relieved that there is a reason to why they find life and situations within it difficult. Some use it as a scapegoat to blame their poor decisions on and some shut down because of it. However there are many positive traits that come with having a personality disorder and this is what I want to talk about today.
- Resilient – we manage to get up everyday and face our struggles regardless of what battles and trauma’s we face or have faced
- Empathetic – we are able to understand how things can affect us and are then able to recognise it in others
- Compassionate – we are able to accept others for who they are
- Curious – we are often more curious about what makes us tick and why
- Bold – being bold is the positive flip side to impulsivity as it allows us to be courageous
- Creative – often emotions run that deep that they can fuel the fires of creative skills
- Intuitive – we have often had intense trauma that can lead into being highly sensitive which allows us to acknowledge other peoples emotional states
- Passionate – when we love, we love hard
- Emotional – sometimes the management of our emotions is quite difficult but we are able to fully feel each emotion when they happen and recognise them
- Protective – we are fierce protectors of the ones we love; even though this is often out of fear of losing them
- Hopeful – the fact we are able to face each day with either optimism for ourselves or others whilst we are struggling
I often have thought that my negative traits of my personality directly outweigh the good but reading this list has helped me realise I am not this huge cock-up because of my borderline personality disorder; and that it heightens the positives too.
For instance I am not a big people person in the sense that I would much prefer to be in a small group or by myself but I love helping people and looking after them. To my friends back in my hometown I would always try to make sure they were fed when they came round and I am definitely a mother hen. I got into care work not for the money (because there isn’t any!) but because although I struggled to see my own family poorly and dying in some cases; I could be that person for other people who were in the same boat as me.
I enjoy advocating because when I’m not in this god awful depressive hole I like talking to people and trying to find solutions through my own experiences or advice medical professionals have given me. I may not give a monkeys about consequences to myself due to my own poor judgement due to my poor mental health and this can cause hurt to those around me. It doesn’t stop me from feeling ALL of those emotions and loving my friends and family hard which exacerbates the emotions; yet in reality at least I can feel these emotions and acknowledge them.
I like to think my personality disorder doesn’t define me but it certainly has moulded me into who I am for better or worse, besides knowing that there is a positive side to what feels like an incredibly negative mental health illness means it is more manageable and allows me to see the glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.