Now my Little Lady doesn’t find it anything new, mummy going to see doctors and even being an inpatient in hospital. Even though she is definitely not a fan of me going in it has some perks for her – I always get her some crap from the hospital shop and she gets to “look after daddy” by staying in my bed. But she was nearly 2 by the time I started being admitted regularly so she had a bit of understanding, whereas Button doesn’t have any; he cries when he hears my voice on the phone and doesn’t understand why he can see me when I video call but I’m not actually there. This is the longest I have ever been away from him or them both together.
Unfortunately Ra-Ra has gone longer without me being at home, but other than her crying her eyes out when my mam drove me down to the hospital and she couldn’t come; she has been taking it in her stride. I guess having the big girl responsibility of being able to answer daddies phone and video calling me (which she usually only gets to do with Aunty Rachel!) and the treat of whenever I go into hospital she is allowed to sleep in my bed – which started out as a way of her not getting upset with me being an inpatient.
I am finding it particularly hard to be away from Button as not only do we spend all our time together but he has a nasty cough at the moment and teething, all of which are having a knock on effect with his sleeping (and keeping poor 00Steve up till silly o’clock) I feel like because I am in here I am failing both of them as a parent. Even though I know I need to be at my best to give them my best.
I always find being chronically sick awkward enough as a parent whether that is due to the fact I won’t take pain killers when I’m on my own with them in case I get drowsy and something happened to one of them, not being able to really be the proactive and fully engaged “perfect Pinterest” style mum who has the house spotless, the meals cooked on time from scratch and has done god knows how many educational crafts that day. Or being stuck in hospital for days when I thought I had caught something early and would only need an afternoon of fluids to get me back on track.
I know that Ra-Ra often only gets upset at me going to the doctors or hospital by myself because she thinks she is missing out on something exciting, until she actually comes along and realises there is nothing of interest and she only gets told to behave or sit still! I have to be very thankful that since having my ileostomy formed nearly two years ago that my times as an inpatient are becoming less infrequent and in the last 18 months I have been admitted 4 times and 3 if them were pregnancy related!
How do you find being admitted affects you and your child? If it does at all?